How did I get here?

 I was a teenager in the late 80's early 90's.  I was deliriously optimistic as a youth.  Having grown up with the eternal happy endings of American cinema, I was a strong believer in fate and the notion everything would work out in the end.


Brian Adams sang a heart wrenching ballad during this time frame.  You may remember the song.  Everything I Do.  


I would sit and listen to that song as bespectacled braces laden girl imagining the man I would ultimately marry was hearing the same song at the same time.  


I was positive he was out there.  I was so certain I would sit in paralyzed wonder everytime the song came on the radio, certain my future love was also basking in the same stillness listening to the same song.


Fast forward more years than I care to admit, a long list of broken hearts and ruined relationships I had become resigned to the fact I would never marry. I had even become comfortable with the notion of being a spinster.  The status fit me like an old shoe.


When S asked me to marry him I said yes never believing we would get around to it.  I am 43 for the love of God.  When he set a date and wedding plans started forming around my nervous life I still didnt think it was possible we would really get married.



Today we went to a jewlers to pick out our wedding bands.  That sappy Brian Adams song came over their sound system.  It took me awhile to recognize it.  I haven't heard the song in years.

"Oh" I said.  "I like this song."

S With his eyes shiny replied "Yes, I know."

"Well,  that's disturbingly romantic".  I said.  He laughed.

I am officially weirded out now.

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Comments (1)

  1. jaageet

    Sounds like you are old school at the prom waiting for a boy to ask you for a dance. Women these days don’t believe in fate. They set their sights on the prey, pounce, tear into them and suck them dry.

    May 19, 2017